Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Reactions to Delhi Bus Rapist Interview

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This was my immediate reaction to the news article with BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) having made a documentary about this crime against a woman (http://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/delhi-bus-rapist-blames-dead-victim-for-attack-because-girls-are-responsible-for-rape/ar-BBi8EL7?ocid=mailsignoutmd).

My original post had some strong and sensitive languaging disguised as swear words to emphasize the extent of my anger. I did that on purpose for two reasons: (1) because that was my genuine feeling and reaction and (2) I felt that this was such an important and deep cause that it felt like the 'right' thing to do, perhaps in part to elicit corresponding emotions/reactions in others.

I was extremely angry upon hearing this as I am by all injustices whether people, animals, or the environment.

What century do we live in for God's sake?! I can't believe this! This is so appalling and I am SO mad!

When can women roam the streets at night in peace ... really after 9 pm? These excuses are lame ... teach HER a lesson? Are you out of your mind?! Oh I am so bloody mad ... I can't believe this! I not only feel angry, mad, pissed off, but furious!

First of all Mister, girls, women, females do NOT ever ever ever ever - get the point?! - "ask for rape" or rather "ask to be raped." Hell NO! You have got to be kidding me? Are you CRAZY?! (Don't answer that 'cause the answer is so blatantly obvious, at least to me!)

Us girls, women, females are only responsible for ourselves. YOU are responsible for you and your thoughts and actions, and yes, that includes self-restraint!

The woman's murder was "an accident?!" Excuse me?! Pardon me?! Did I read that right?! Oh you only meant to rape her? Not leave her for dead? Holy moley! Again, who are YOU kidding!

Oh pardon me sir (can't even call you that!), I am here to inform you: "Your wife is no longer. It was an accident by some men." How would YOU feel if you were told that? Oh let me guess, you don't have a wife!

And let me guess, you also have a double standard for men and women, or rather men and 'girls' (a form of belittling us females, in my opinion at least) - "A decent girl won't roam around at nine o'clock at night." I bet the men are allowed out at night, but females need to be caged up inside their homes, maybe even locked inside (by the sounds of it)!

"A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy. Boys and girls are not equal" you say? 'Girls' as you probably name all 'women' are NEVER responsible, do you HEAR me?! We don't ask for it and neither do we want it.

And since when are boys and girls not equal? God created us both equally in terms of a social standing. However, I see that you skew this point only because their brains and bodies differ.

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You further state, "Housework and housekeeping is for girls, not roaming in discos and bars at night doing wrong things, wearing wrong clothes." Oh excuse me! Get rid of the archaic (patriarchal?) system that 'rules' women, puts them down, makes them feel inferior, useless, and worthless like ants or fleas!

And what is wrong with dancing and having a good time socializing with friends? Yes, maybe she sweats from dancing in a crowded disco so dresses a bit lighter and cooler.

However, if you are turned on and it bothers you there are always choices and options other than rape. I can think of a few, so why can't you?

"About 20 per cent of girls are good." Really?! Where on earth did you get that information, that statistic from? Are you projecting (what may be the case for men) onto 'girls?'

Being attacked with hands let alone metal bars is inhumane, even for animals God forbid! You should be disgusted and ashamed of yourself!

I saw a pre-movie (a short clip before an actual movie) once that made me cringe and I should have left the theatre. It depicted, rather insinuated the rape of a young (Asian) girl ... just writing those words is horrific. I was shocked and sickened by it.

I could not fathom how anyone can make such a movie. Yet this happens in real life way too often, including India. It is a crime against humanity, children, innocence, and our future.

The Delhi bus driver who didn't participate in the attack had suggested to BBC in an interview - did he or does he feel like a hero being interviewed I wonder - that the rape was a way to teach this young woman "a lesson." Really?! Should YOU be taught a lesson in such an undignified and cruel manner?

And apparently she was supposed to just surrender, NOT "resisting her attackers." What the hell?! Instead, "She should just be silent and allow the rape. Then they'd have dropped her off after doing her and only hit the boy." ... I cannot believe what goes on in your pea-sized brain! You have got to be kidding me?

Furthermore, the driver stated that future rape victims would likely be killed by the execution of him and the others who were convicted of this crime. Are you trying to get off from being killed?

Oh, and to make matters worse, he also declares that "in front of my entire family, I would put petrol on her and set her alight" if his sister or daughter - oh he is married?! - "disgraced herself" if seen with a man. I am so appalled, I can't believe your thinking! Let me guess, men can get away with murder though if the roles were reversed ... and please don't say anything. I KNOW the answer!

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The defence lawyer further adds fuel to the fire by saying, "In our society, we never allow our girls to come out from the house after 6.30 or 7.30 or 8.30 in the evening with any unknown person." Why? Because you are caring and protective of them? Or are your motives more controlling in nature?

He continues, "You are talking about man and woman as friends. Sorry, that doesn't have any place in our society. We have the best culture. In our culture, there is no place for a woman."

WHAT?! Men and women cannot be friends?! Whoa! The "best culture"? I do NOT think so, not after those statements! And "no place for a woman?" WHAT??????!!!! You have got to be joking! You wouldn't be around if it wasn't for a woman, and ... well, use your imagination to fill in the blank!

OMG, I think I'm going to faint. I can't believe you said (all) that! Am I to kill myself because I am a woman? 'Cause I'm not meant to be here, to live? Oh, let me guess, you'd rather do it to me or for me, kill me off that is. You have no use of me. Oh, but then who is going to do the housework?

The mother of her dead daughter states, "Whenever there's a crime, the girl is blamed, ‘She should not go out. She shouldn't roam around so late or wear such clothes.' It's the boys who should be accused and asked why they do this."

Yep, she's right. The boys are the ones who attack(ed). They should be the ones in question, NOT the "girl!" However, I disagree with questioning men as to why: there will only be rationalizations and justifications. There is NEVER any reason to commit such a crime.

I am not (normally) one for a heinous punishment, but truly in this case I wonder. Would it be best that a man gets castrated for this crime? Death seems an easy way out even if by execution. A quick death. I think pain is more punishing in terms of suffering.

On the other hand, I'm not God and I imagine the men involved will suffer the consequences karmically. (A post to follow next week about this with a totally different slant.)

Rather than asking you to take sides of my severe punishment - definitely not! - I would instead at this time like to ask you a question: What can WE individually and as a society do to STOP rape and other heinous crimes against females? Pray tell me. Tell us ... those others who read and comment.

And men don't get me wrong. I know there are a lot of good men out there as well. I am referring to this particular type of crime, though I have written about others in a couple of previous posts. (Just do a word search on my blog.)

22 comments:

  1. My blood boils thinking about this..This regressive mindset I wish someone castrated and killed this man and his lawyer this instant, that's how mad they and their mindset makes me!

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    1. That's exactly how I felt Naba: my blood boiling which fuelled me to write this post. And though instinctively we want to be vindictive and retaliate in return, it's not the best way unfortunately...read my post next week about this. ;) <3

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  2. I agree wholeheartedly with you. My question to my Indian friends is this -- in this day, in your culture how is this generally accepted? Yes Nabanita this is a regressive mindset and agree with you. I am just wondering if there are still people who think like this? Or was this an isolated instance?

    I can't even began to imagine what that precious girl went through. Makes me sick.

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    1. It is a regressive mindset and yet it seems to be quite prevalent in certain countries more than others, including India unfortunately portrayed by the media. And yes, sad and sickening Carol. Peace be unto her soul. <3

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  3. This whole thing makes me sick and I completely agree with you, Elly! Hard to fathom, that this type of thinking still goes on in 2015. Shame on the BBC for giving this murdering rapist the spotlight!

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    1. Yes, it can make one emotionally and mentally, even physically sick to hear such news and so hard to fathom too like you say being the 21st century! I agree with you that the interview is like giving the perpretator the spotlight and what message does that portray to the general public, including others like him?

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  4. Makes my blood boil and I had tears streaming down my face when the incident had occurred back then! It's not an isolated instance. Just that it came out in the open. There are thousands getting raped and killed! This is absolute madness! A madness, which I honestly don't have any idea how it will end!

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    1. That's how I felt too and I remember crying about the incident too. We are all connected as soul brothers and sisters on this planet. What is done to one is done to all, same with what we do to one we do to all. And unfortunately such crimes are too prevalent in society. I will write a different side next week. <3

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  5. I'm still shocked to hear all this stuff, feels like women still don't have a place in society. It's shame that I feel more than anger

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    1. I'm not shocked anymore; however, I hope never to become desensitized as I think that is worse. In general, I think that women are often treated as second-class citizens unfortunately or so it seems. There's no shame in feeling your emotions Nibhz, it's what you do with it that matters. :) <3

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  6. Having been the rape victim, I agree completely with this. No one, and I mean no one, deserves to be raped. No one is asking for it. One of your best posts yet...filled with passion. It is appalling what goes on in this world in which we live.

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    1. I am so sorry to hear Kathy. And yes, anger is the edge of passion and it fuelled me to write this post. Appalling yes and no one deserves to be raped. Read my post next week for a different take on this. <3

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  7. Sick, beyond sick. I was very nearly a rape victim, years ago. Someone I knew was not as lucky. This woman was the sister in law of a friend. She was with her young daughter and the man threatened harm, and she...well, let's put it this way, the police (this was in 1974) treated HER like she was the criminal, they blamed the way she dressed, they said it was her fault since it was in broad daylight and she "didn't fight back". I will never forget seeing how she suffered emotionally (her husband didn't give her much support). I would stay with her because her husband went out at night and she was scared to death of not having another adult in the house, although the rape didn't happen in her apartment. My blood is boiling as much as yours is.

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    1. That must have been terrifying Alana. And also challenging to know someone who was such a victim and such a shame for her what she had to suffer. I hope the police are more sensitive in handling such cases - I think they have - though I can see that was how the way things were back then. My blood boiling is a great descriptor of how I felt too while reading the article and writing this post. <3

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  8. Your reaction is similar to mine when I was reading the articles. I was dropping the f-bomb every second. I'd like to teach these men and men like these a lesson too --- I'd like to stab them in the balls and watch them slowly die as they bleed to death in front of me. And I'm not remotely a violent person. But you know, when someone needs to be taught a lesson, you apparently do what you want. Fucking arseholes.

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    1. I totally understand Sanch as I am not a violent person by nature either. But the anger at such inhumane injustices time and time and time again...well, I think just brings people over the edge in their thinking and wishing for revenge. I don't blame you for thinking and feeling the way you do at all...you read what I wrote! ;) <3

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  10. There is no end to the amount of insensitivity, this brutal incident portrayed, about regressive mindsets and absolute inhumanity. Its been a while since this incident so now the initial blood boiling has been replaced with absolute disgust in me towards the appalling mindsets of these men. And, it further has me puzzled as to why men with such unstable minds are being interviewed in the first place. They just need a slow, painful and torturous death, like you suggested. In the end all I can say is Karma is watching over them.
    From our end, we need to raise our sons with a healthy mindset, instilling the right values in them, so that the future generations of women don't suffer from these distorted perspectives.

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    1. It seems interesting that 'blood boiling' is a common theme in the comments and how I felt as well upon hearing this. It is for sure puzzling why these men are being interviewed...so they can offer lame excuses? Or to better understand in order to prevent? I'm hoping for the latter though I doubt that was the motive. <3 I so agree with you that raising sons in the right manner as a way towards prevention of such atrocities against women in future. :) <3

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  12. I still feel a chill run down my spine when I think of the brutal incident of Nirbhaya. To even imagine the horror that she must have gone through is enough to make any sane person see nightmares. And to think that there are people who actually blame the girl!!! I deliberately didn't watch the video. I can't take it. The title itself was infuriating. I can understand the emotions you must have felt. It makes me sick .

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    1. Yes, I can certainly understand why you still have chills down your spine! I was informed by another BAR blogger an element related to her rape and eventual death and it was incredibly horrendous. It is indeed sickening.

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