Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Part 2: The Call to Write

In my last posting I referred to my passion of writing. I actually told a lie, a white lie. Now I’m generally an honest person – I’m not perfect! – but let me explain, and bear with me while I do so!

The part that I lied about is that I didn’t admit that my writing is not only my passion, but is also possibly a gift, a divine gift, my divine gift. I know, I know, I can’t believe it either! However, it was channelled through Baljit Rayat, an intuitive soul coach, that it would be best and in my highest good to be writing. She can literally 'see' into your soul. ; ) (My interpretation.)

I felt that to not share my truth, this truth, would be a dishonour and disservice not only to myself, but also to others, most of all to my twin (even though she's dead). She apparently graces me with words that I get intuitively. Yes, I know. I realize this may sound crazy and woo woo especially since she is gone. However, I know that I am indeed graced at times with Spirit when my fingers fly over a keyboard or my pen glides across the page, I can hardly keep up. Some may call this channeling. Perhaps it is. At this time, I prefer to refer to it as being guided, divinely guided or graced by Spirit, i.e., being inspired.

And yet, I also remember times, for example in my expressive arts therapy classes when writing poetry, that the words did not come out smoothly at all and land on the page in a way I had hoped or anticipated. Instead, the words stuck like glue, or gum, which made it challenging for me to articulate them as they tumbled out awkwardly from my mouth.

Or for instance when I was in a poetry workshop and my mind would go utterly blank. I was stupefied! Perhaps it was sharing my personal writings with people present as witnesses and/or critiques. Anyone else feel that way about their poetry or other writings? It may have been due to anxiety while performing under pressure, i.e., forcing poems into existence and not feeling inspired as a result. Or this in combination while simultaneously having people present. Who knows?

Then again I am reminded of an incident many years ago, when Shared Vision breakfast seminars were the norm in Vancouver. One time I had asked one of the speakers whom I believe was a psychic what I needed to do, as I felt stabbed in the heart with work that I was doing. I was informed that I should write and to post an ad in the paper. Well! I was shocked and didn’t believe the man because after all who was I to be a writer? I had never published anything, didn’t have my own business, no degree, and so on.

So when this extremely gifted woman also being an 'intuitionist' - my term - told me this, I believed her. This time I did. Because after all I’ve heard it’s best to pay attention, especially, if Spirit speaks to you three times, and perhaps even twice! Once “should be” enough though, right? Not for little miss stubborn old me! ; )

I also believed her because since then I had written a lot more stuff, though still yet unpublished, including my blogging which I had since started. By then, I knew that a number of my pieces were not coming from me directly. One piece stands out in my mind which I may share another time (to shorten this posting).

Writing is for sure a passion of mine amongst many passions that I have, that fall in the category of the creative and expressive arts. That basically includes writing, singing, dancing, and acting – did I miss any? I often introduce myself – on paper or screen – as a "poet, writer, singer, dancer, and actor at heart" or along those lines, though not necessarily in that order.

I didn’t want to state my truth above but felt the need to be honest, to come clean, and honour it. I didn't want to because I didn’t and still don't consider myself a writer, at least a professional writer. I haven’t published anything (yet) and only write creatively. At least, that is if I understand the definition of a professional writer. I’m still getting used to myself in that way, that is calling myself a writer.

As I alluded to in my last posting, I’m not a perfect writer - is there even such a thing, really?! - even though I get words a lot intuitively. I write because I love to write but I realized the reason or rather, reasons why, and more importantly the root reason. Do you want to know? Would you like me to tell you?

Well, I write for copious reasons:

I am quite imaginative. (I would love to say 'extremely' but then you might have high expectations of me and I don't wish to fail you!) I consider myself an ‘ideas’ person as I have a cornucopia of them and sometimes jot those ideas (and/or words that I get as mentioned above). Sometimes they are simply a title for a poem for example, even before the poem takes form.

I write, in part, because as I mentioned, I receive words intuitively a lot of the time and I feel like I’m supposed to do something with them. You might say that I feel drawn or 'called' to write! That would make a cool title. In fact, that’s how it works. One word or idea leads to another and then lends itself to more.

I am also very creative and love words. (Again, I would prefer to use the word 'extremely' but don't wish to disappoint you.) Love to create with words, love to make up words (which I do from time to time, like the word 'dishonour-ment' which I was considering using in this posting), love the sound and feel of words on my skin. No, just kiddin.’

Though perhaps I may feel them ‘under my skin,’ I was actually making that up, i.e., ‘on my skin’ as I was playing with words which I also love to do.

What I meant to say was ‘...love the sound and feel of words in my ear’ like Sanskrit, an ancient East Indian language. One reason why I love singing chants as well as the feeling of devotion when doing so. But I’m going off on a tangent here.

I also write because I love to read and hope that others will enjoy reading my words and what I have to say. I would love to empower others with my words, including these printed words. Of inconsequential importance is that I am a detailed person and thus am a great proofreader and editor, as well as being an excellent speller. LOL (I initially typed 'beign' but luckily caught myself! ; ) But more so, more importantly, I write because it’s fun. I enjoy it! In fact, I love it!

Another reason and at the crux of all this is that it is a way for me to express myself. At the deepest core is this (reason): I have the ability to express myself in (1) my own way and (2) safely without being edited. I can express myself freely and with ease.

Related to this is that I feel the urge to express myself and this is one of the vehicles I choose and use on a somewhat regular basis. I’d write more often, blog perhaps once a week but my schedule is quite busy with full-time work, choir (where we memorize the lyrics and music), volunteer work, and the like.

Through writing, I can also give voice to an opinion or share information, especially on important matters. It is a way to be heard, and hopefully understood.

Expressing myself AKA (also known as) self-expression is the heart of why I write and why, most importantly, I love writing, creative writing that is. I write because it's fun. I enjoy it. In fact, I love it!

At work I also write, but it’s a different animal altogether. Totally! But I’m not going to write about that, at least not here. Not now anyway!

Now I’d like to suggest that once you find your gift(s) and/or passion(s) to honour it/them. As I’m writing this now, I think of the hiding-under-the-bushel parable that Jesus shared about gifts or talents. And I know this was an inspirational thought! (Thank you angel!)

Words escape me now as I think that thought distracted me so I think it’s time to end. It’s also late and past my bedtime.

p.s. By the way, I took the photo above in relation to my last blog posting when I was struggling with paragraph order. I felt somewhat the same way with this posting and was considering doing the same, but didn’t! But it is a strategy that I can use again though this was the first time. Honest! ; )

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Part 1: To Write or 'Write' ... Right?

I’m sure you, like me, have written a lot of things. And perhaps similar to a lot of what I have done.

When I think of all the writing I’ve done, I’ve written a lot (in somewhat chronological order, except for my poetry which I started at about age 18 or 19):

book reviews
letters (including a number of political and editorial)
forms (such as for employment and for research grants)
medical/scientific research papers
job evaluations
meeting minutes
year-end reports
poetry (including some limericks and odes, and attempts at haiku)
scripts (of monologues and dialogues)
lyrics (including rap – that was fun!)
children’s story (or two and my foray into an adventure story/book in grade 3)
a workshop
press releases
a blog

... and ideas (for poems, stories, books, business cards and businesses, jokes, and even for my dream). Does broadcasting, instant messaging, and texting count? ; } And I hope to add at least one book to this repetoire, one day...soon?

I’m always communicating as we all do. Obviously, other than with body language, I do so with words, verbally or in written form. However, I also occasionally experiment with telepathic communication. Does anyone else? ; ) (Just curious.)

Words, these words, where do they come from? Do they just pop onto the page? Are they forced from my fingers onto a computer or page? Are they imagined or projected onto another’s mind like a screen, or not? Do they appear seemingly out of nowhere, like magic?

I used to struggle - actually still do - a lot with finding the right word(s). LOL. This is one example. Should it be ‘word’ or ‘words'? (Actually in this case, I think it’s both!) The right words or phrase to capture the essence, the feeling, the emotion, the experience. I endeavour to capture perfection in doing so. But I can also write, and have written, in the flow.

Sometimes though, I don’t capture words on time, especially when in the flow as happened with my blog. In one instance, I accidentally erased an inspired piece of prose - it was a masterpiece - before I could transfer it to my blog. Ouch! That hurt!

I used to think that I didn’t think these words, but I must. However, they usually ‘show up’ as one word. Yessss! One. Word. Only. One...word. Sometimes though, a phrase or a few lines from the etheric realm (or wherever) grace me in the form of poetry. This is so erratic in comparison.

For the most part, I don’t “force” my poetry unless, say, I’m at a poetry workshop and my mind is blank. Or when I sit down to write a bunch of poems which I did one day (and one day only!). Otherwise I write poetry or snippets of it (only) when inspired.

Yet for me, words come intuitively, a lot. They come to me like books. Books show up without me having to hunt for them. But with words, I don’t see nor hear them. I just ‘get’ them claircognizantly. It is immediate, spontaneous, out-of-the-blue, from the ethers. And at times, I have a vague sense of the definition and consult a dictionary or computer!

Despite this, I’m not a perfect writer. By no means. I’m honoured to be favoured or graced with this passion and am extremely grateful and appreciative of that.

Gratitude (though sometimes with an accompanying 'knowing' smirk on my face) also occurs when, oftentimes, I think or ‘get’ a word or phrase before it tumbles out of a person’s mouth, whether a speaker, colleague, family member, or friend - anyone for that matter.

I also appreciate occasionally hearing music or a beat in terms of writing lyrics or in the case of my one-time rap tribute.

These experiences make me realize that intuition is really at work and I am truly inspired in those moments. I LOVE when that happens!

Does anyone else experience any of this? I’d really like to know, truly! And pray tell, what are your experiences with words? And writing? I’d love to hear. : ) Please ... and thank you, kindly.