The part that I lied about is that I didn’t admit that my writing is not only my passion, but is also possibly a gift, a divine gift, my divine gift. I know, I know, I can’t believe it either! However, it was channelled through Baljit Rayat, an intuitive soul coach, that it would be best and in my highest good to be writing. She can literally 'see' into your soul. ; ) (My interpretation.)
I felt that to not share my truth, this truth, would be a dishonour and disservice not only to myself, but also to others, most of all to my twin (even though she's dead). She apparently graces me with words that I get intuitively. Yes, I know. I realize this may sound crazy and woo woo especially since she is gone. However, I know that I am indeed graced at times with Spirit when my fingers fly over a keyboard or my pen glides across the page, I can hardly keep up. Some may call this channeling. Perhaps it is. At this time, I prefer to refer to it as being guided, divinely guided or graced by Spirit, i.e., being inspired.
And yet, I also remember times, for example in my expressive arts therapy classes when writing poetry, that the words did not come out smoothly at all and land on the page in a way I had hoped or anticipated. Instead, the words stuck like glue, or gum, which made it challenging for me to articulate them as they tumbled out awkwardly from my mouth.
Or for instance when I was in a poetry workshop and my mind would go utterly blank. I was stupefied! Perhaps it was sharing my personal writings with people present as witnesses and/or critiques. Anyone else feel that way about their poetry or other writings? It may have been due to anxiety while performing under pressure, i.e., forcing poems into existence and not feeling inspired as a result. Or this in combination while simultaneously having people present. Who knows?
Then again I am reminded of an incident many years ago, when Shared Vision breakfast seminars were the norm in Vancouver. One time I had asked one of the speakers whom I believe was a psychic what I needed to do, as I felt stabbed in the heart with work that I was doing. I was informed that I should write and to post an ad in the paper. Well! I was shocked and didn’t believe the man because after all who was I to be a writer? I had never published anything, didn’t have my own business, no degree, and so on.
So when this extremely gifted woman also being an 'intuitionist' - my term - told me this, I believed her. This time I did. Because after all I’ve heard it’s best to pay attention, especially, if Spirit speaks to you three times, and perhaps even twice! Once “should be” enough though, right? Not for little miss stubborn old me! ; )
I also believed her because since then I had written a lot more stuff, though still yet unpublished, including my blogging which I had since started. By then, I knew that a number of my pieces were not coming from me directly. One piece stands out in my mind which I may share another time (to shorten this posting).
Writing is for sure a passion of mine amongst many passions that I have, that fall in the category of the creative and expressive arts. That basically includes writing, singing, dancing, and acting – did I miss any? I often introduce myself – on paper or screen – as a "poet, writer, singer, dancer, and actor at heart" or along those lines, though not necessarily in that order.
I didn’t want to state my truth above but felt the need to be honest, to come clean, and honour it. I didn't want to because I didn’t and still don't consider myself a writer, at least a professional writer. I haven’t published anything (yet) and only write creatively. At least, that is if I understand the definition of a professional writer. I’m still getting used to myself in that way, that is calling myself a writer.
As I alluded to in my last posting, I’m not a perfect writer - is there even such a thing, really?! - even though I get words a lot intuitively. I write because I love to write but I realized the reason or rather, reasons why, and more importantly the root reason. Do you want to know? Would you like me to tell you?
Well, I write for copious reasons:
I am quite imaginative. (I would love to say 'extremely' but then you might have high expectations of me and I don't wish to fail you!) I consider myself an ‘ideas’ person as I have a cornucopia of them and sometimes jot those ideas (and/or words that I get as mentioned above). Sometimes they are simply a title for a poem for example, even before the poem takes form.
I write, in part, because as I mentioned, I receive words intuitively a lot of the time and I feel like I’m supposed to do something with them. You might say that I feel drawn or 'called' to write! That would make a cool title. In fact, that’s how it works. One word or idea leads to another and then lends itself to more.
I am also very creative and love words. (Again, I would prefer to use the word 'extremely' but don't wish to disappoint you.) Love to create with words, love to make up words (which I do from time to time, like the word 'dishonour-ment' which I was considering using in this posting), love the sound and feel of words on my skin. No, just kiddin.’
Though perhaps I may feel them ‘under my skin,’ I was actually making that up, i.e., ‘on my skin’ as I was playing with words which I also love to do.
What I meant to say was ‘...love the sound and feel of words in my ear’ like Sanskrit, an ancient East Indian language. One reason why I love singing chants as well as the feeling of devotion when doing so. But I’m going off on a tangent here.
I also write because I love to read and hope that others will enjoy reading my words and what I have to say. I would love to empower others with my words, including these printed words. Of inconsequential importance is that I am a detailed person and thus am a great proofreader and editor, as well as being an excellent speller. LOL (I initially typed 'beign' but luckily caught myself! ; ) But more so, more importantly, I write because it’s fun. I enjoy it! In fact, I love it!
Another reason and at the crux of all this is that it is a way for me to express myself. At the deepest core is this (reason): I have the ability to express myself in (1) my own way and (2) safely without being edited. I can express myself freely and with ease.
Related to this is that I feel the urge to express myself and this is one of the vehicles I choose and use on a somewhat regular basis. I’d write more often, blog perhaps once a week but my schedule is quite busy with full-time work, choir (where we memorize the lyrics and music), volunteer work, and the like.
Through writing, I can also give voice to an opinion or share information, especially on important matters. It is a way to be heard, and hopefully understood.
Expressing myself AKA (also known as) self-expression is the heart of why I write and why, most importantly, I love writing, creative writing that is. I write because it's fun. I enjoy it. In fact, I love it!
At work I also write, but it’s a different animal altogether. Totally! But I’m not going to write about that, at least not here. Not now anyway!
Now I’d like to suggest that once you find your gift(s) and/or passion(s) to honour it/them. As I’m writing this now, I think of the hiding-under-the-bushel parable that Jesus shared about gifts or talents. And I know this was an inspirational thought! (Thank you angel!)
Words escape me now as I think that thought distracted me so I think it’s time to end. It’s also late and past my bedtime.
p.s. By the way, I took the photo above in relation to my last blog posting when I was struggling with paragraph order. I felt somewhat the same way with this posting and was considering doing the same, but didn’t! But it is a strategy that I can use again though this was the first time. Honest! ; )