Friday, May 18, 2012
Intro to Summer Camp
Photo courtesy of North Shore News
Well I did it! I really did it! I really did it now!
No, I’m not speaking about a ‘bad’ incident or mishap. Rather, I’m referring to the launch of my intro to the summer camp of a community co-creative children’s choir on Saturday, May 5th at John Braithwaite Community Centre.
Though only a few kids showed up, at least they showed up, that is, that the parents brought them. And one parent, plus an adult friend showed up too for support by participating in the various exercises I ran.
And although I was supported and I was exuberant, it wasn’t 100% successful. How could it be? If it was, would I grow and learn? No! Thus, it wasn’t a complete failure either.
It seemed that I made some so-called mistakes mainly through things that I didn’t say, things that I could have said, things that I should have said. Namely what I’m referring to is speaking about goals of the intro as well as the why of some of the exercises we were doing – how did I miss that?! – in addition to talking more about the summer camp.
I think it was a combination of excitement and nerves: new kids, adults, North Shore News photographer, and intro launch as well as the feeling perhaps of the need to entertain or inspire the children. I had too many exercises, focusing more on doing rather than just simply being, rather than allowing more space in between!
Expressive arts therapy terms this as “liminal space.” It is analogous to being on the threshold, the edge of the line, the space that occurs between here and there. Yet that is the place where magic can occur, where clarity can reside or beckon you to draw nearer. It is akin to the space or gap between the thoughts as in meditation, between the notes as in music, the silence in between all that. It is both powerful and (potentially) deep.
Not until after reading the feedback forms later that day, did I feel both happy and deflated. Though initially berating myself for a few days following, I put this into perspective: the event occurred, people participated, and I got feedback!
The simple and honest feedback from the children gives me the impetus that I need to create an even better program.
Overall, a few humbling lessons for me: (1) a failure can be seen as a success if you apply the learning(s) from the experience (2) there is grace in humility (3) whether to acknowledge God, Spirit, Source, the Universe – use which term you prefer – I’m not the one ultimately in control!
Keeps me on my toes … on the edge of my seat … on the line…in liminal space.