Saturday, July 17, 2010

Why Me? Why this Choir?

Why? (pause) ... why? Why? WHy? WHY? Why?! Why does it seem like I always have to prove myself and thus feel like I need to defend myself?

That’s the question I ask myself after a call I placed recently to inform someone about my blog. Rather, to explain or justify my background for directing a children’s co-creative choir. My blog details my background, at least to some extent.

Oh, interestingly enough I forgot one major component! I had conducted a children’s choir when I was a member of a particular church many years ago. I had forgotten because I no longer attend that church. (I must say though, I was proud of the children singing so sweetly, especially to a song I had to teach them that I created into a simple round.)

So you see, I know I can do this, i.e., conduct a children’s choir. Whether people believe me or not, that is up to them and their choice. People will believe what they want to believe, just as they see what they want to see, hear what they want to hear. I'm not perfect either! ; )

If it sounds like I might be a bit angry or defensive, well perhaps I am a bit, but think of it more as passion, passionately angry for a cause, or rather, causes, and rightfully so. You see I already wrote down the reasons for this choir, my vision and mission statements for it. (My first posting describes more in detail how the idea originated.)

I also know that there are many layers, undercurrents if you will, to it, that are positive and important. For instance, one of the reasons for the choir is to have, actually create a place, a safe place for children to not only express themselves, but also a (safe) place to belong to.

Do you know how many children/youth feel like they don’t belong, don’t count, don’t matter, don’t feel like they’re important. This applies whether they’re at home, school, with friends, and so on.

I’m not saying that all children feel that way or feel that way all the time or that you - as parents/caregivers etc. - don’t love or care for them. I’m speaking about their perception of themselves! (And that’s a different story, believe me! More about that in another posting.)

Do you also know that one of the major causes of death for children and youth (in North America) is suicide, which apparently has been on the increase over the past decade or two?

Do you know that one of the (kick-butt) reasons that propelled me to start this choir is from people who shared with me their experience of a loss or potential loss of a youth, someone they know who either committed or attempted suicide? (More about this in another posting.)

So you may get the gist of why I feel so passionate about this choir. There are a variety of other reasons of course. These are only two for my choir’s existence, raison d’être (pardon the pun regarding the above). That is why I feel committed, moved, shaken, driven to do this, to succeed. And that is why I may appear intense to some. I’m on a mission!

I understand what I’m doing, well perhaps not business-wise as I’m learning (in) the process, but at least my vision and goals for the choir. I understand why. My heart and soul understand why. And really, truly, that’s all that matters ... at least, in my opinion. Everyone is entitled to theirs, of course! ; )


  1. Definitely a passionate post. So, what's up with the choir now? I agree to you for sure,and it's true that all of us have our own opinion. But why bother!

    Chill out and enjoy your passion.
    The first line which you wrote in this blog post made me connect to you. Even I have several times felt the need to prove over and over on one single topic thus making us defensive.

    1. Thanks Ajay, and yes definitely my passion comes through. The choir is 'on hold' for the time being. I have a book that may need or wish to be birthed beforehand and this is something I need to consider. :) <3

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