#AtoZChallenge: B is for Beauty

Today's 'heart things, heart strings' theme for the letter B in the A to Z challenge is Beauty! After all, beauty inspires joy as well as peace of mind and heart.

Google's definition of beauty is "a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight."

If you look close enough, you can see beauty all around you, and yes, even sometimes in what most people would consider ugly. Even the "ugliest" of scenes or circumstances can contain an element of beauty. I would cite an example of this that I experienced years ago; however, I do not call it right now unfortunately. (I wish I did!)

What does come to mind though is when I judge someone initially in their looks (as we all do) only to discover their beauty in conversation and/or as time progresses. I wrote an interesting post on such an experience, but cannot find it.

There is one particular incident or rather two that I mentioned in this post (http://xpressyouressence.blogspot.ca/2014/09/part-3-suicide-prevention-week.html) which may be/seem horrific for some/most people...hindsight can be a beautiful thing...

Another post, one of my favourites, that I wrote a few years ago (Jan. 24, 2011) entitled 'Beauty in the Downtown Eastside' (DTES) portrays beauty in what can be deemed as ugly.

The DTES is the poorest neighbourhood in Canada and notorious for drug addicts and the like. And yet there was and is an element of beauty that I witnessed. Read more about that story here (http://xpressyouressence.blogspot.ca/2011/01/beauty-in-dtes.html).

Tell me, what elements of beauty capture your eye, your interest?

O Christmas Tree, O Just Like Me ...

No matter if you are a human being, an ant or a bee, or even a tree – hey I love to rhyme! – you, we, are all important and each have a role to play here on this earth (no matter how big or small).

A month before Christmas, a neighbour denuded or raped a tree violently (with professional tree cutters) of its beautiful hanging cedar branches. This tree who once held many birds, that sweetly sang, in its arms like a human mother with her baby. In fact, just the weekend prior, I witnessed a number of blue stellar jays fly up to perch beneath its bounteous green, seemingly cradled and caressed.

I LOVE trees, can you tell!? Some of you might consider me a tree worshipper possibly in disguise. Indeed, my twitter name includes ‘treehugger’ with a photo of me hugging a tree which I do from time to time. I used to, for instance, hug ‘Big Doug,’ a tall pine tree amidst others in a forest clearing at Capilano Suspension Bridge Park. I’d get a friend to join me in hugging it whenever we went by to visit the grounds, and would do so in her absence when she wasn’t able to join me.

Have you ever wondered something along the lines of: If everything is energy, would this tree (and any tree for that matter) have spirit, i.e., a heart and soul (metaphorically speaking of course!)?

Inanimate objects may not speak with words, but they may ‘whisper.’ I know a person who actually hears trees, what messages they have to share. I consider him a tree whisperer: think horse whisperer. I bet he’s not the only one.

I imagine trees feel perhaps somewhat like animals with non-verbal communication, more powerful than words as we humans know: a plant or flower withers and dies, or not.

When I originally wrote a draft of this posting, my questions were: Will this tree die? What will become of it? Will new growth appear from its many mini-stumps like that which occurs in forests?

Potential growth or not, I had such a strong urge, a deep longing to hug this tree – what was left of it! – to console it, pray over it, and offer it some loving, tender healing touch. I felt though that it was probably too late to do so, and furthermore, I would be trespassing on my neighbour’s property and feared potential consequences. I wish I hadn’t been concerned for me, but more for the tree.

Yes, I admit, fear kept me from sharing my love for this tree, my ‘other’ unspoken neighbour who seemingly didn’t have a voice. Why did I not advocate for it? Fight for its rights to be and to live in one piece. As I write that I also think of the word ‘peace.’

I wrote a poem this summer when I was in a very relaxed and peaceful state entitled, “What I Learn from Trees.” Hmmm, if the computer would allow me to type it with single spacing, then you would see it her; however, it is not cooperating with me now! (And yes, I did check the setting for spacing.)

This tree unfortunately did not make it. Eventually it was brought to its ultimate death in the form of a stump as it was deemed ugly and unbearable to look at. Such a shame, such a loss as it not only served as a shelter and abode for wildlife, but also a protection from the elements for me, not to mention just to simply witness its glorious, natural beauty and earthy scent.

It had served its purpose(s), albeit short-lived.

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
How lovely were thy branches!

What gifts do trees offer you? And, how are you like a tree?

Part 2 Aftermath ... Accepting and Expressing

In my previous posting on the aftermath of the riot which I felt compelled to write (and did so extremely quickly), I wrote in part that in order to find peace, we must be peace. Likewise, that the reflection of our inner world is reflected in our outer world and vice versa. What does that say about us and the Vancouver riot that occurred two weeks ago? I know this might sound quite controversial, but I am speaking on a spiritual level.

What I didn’t mention previously is this: we all have a dark side. We all have the ability to love and to hate, to love and to kill. Love and fear are supposedly opposites. although most people think that love and hate are. Regardless, though these are extremes, I’m saying that every human being has the potential to express both, to the same degree.

We all have the potential to swing either way on the pendulum. Luckily most of us don’t swing on the dark side or too often. However, most of us don’t wish to accept our dark side or even see it at all and that is when we find ourselves in trouble, unbeknownst to us, at least initially.

You see, the dark side is still an aspect of your soul and if you resist it, it will eventually catch up with you. There’s a saying, "what you resist, persists.”

Similarly, what you resist is what you repress, denounce, avoid, deny. Example: you might not admit or even know that you’re a rageaholic, a term the author John Bradshaw used to describe himself in past. Furthermore, you may be an alcoholic portraying all the classic symptoms and be a violent one at that! Then you hit bottom.

Your hitting bottom may be experienced as the ‘dark night of the soul’ that Thomas Moore and others write about.

I have experienced this dark night, rather dark nights of the soul, an arduous journey that I so desperately wanted to run away and hide from, but it was too deep, way too deep for me to even climb out of it. It felt like an abyss, so dismal and dark.

This experience is not for the faint of heart and is certainly not a fun place to be in or live from. I don’t recommend it. However, it may be a necessary obstacle to overcome in order to balance amd assimilate our light(er) side, and come to terms with ourselves, both the light and the dark, these polar aspects of our soul.

Think of the light side as your essence, your true essence. Some of you may have questioned – I did! – after my posting on the riot’s aftermath – what has this (riot) to do with ‘expressing your essence?’ (as that is currently part of my blog name, albeit I’m considering changing it). Good question! I’m glad you asked! ; )

Well, it is about that which I just wrote. And it is also about the importance of expressing your essence, in this case your emotions – so-called ‘good’ and ‘bad’ (as there’s really no such thing, that’s just human labeling) in a healthy way. If all the rioters, whether ‘die-hard’ hockey fans expressed their anger/frustrations in a ‘positive’ or healthy way, the riot would never have taken place.

Now I don’t know about you, but I have at times expressed my frustrations and anger in a not-always healthy and/or liked manner by the general public (i.e., those who were effected), and thus have asked the question: HOW does one express their anger and frustrations in a healthy way? Well again, thanks for asking! ; )

This is probably what drew me, in part, to study the expressive arts, perhaps on an unconscious or subconscious level.

Expressive arts therapy is a form of (psycho)therapy – I personally don’t care for that term – but it is – using Wikipedia as my source and perhaps a better explanation and more succinct than my own definition – described as follows: “Expressive therapy, also known as expressive arts therapy or creative arts therapy, is the use of the creative arts as a form of therapy. Unlike traditional art expressions, the process of creation is emphasized rather than the final product. Expressive therapy is predicated on the assumption that people can heal through use of imagination and the various forms of creative expression.”

I love that expressive arts therapy can heal people through the use of imagination and I also love that it focuses more on the creative process rather than the final product. If you read my bio, you would know that I have a passion for the creative and performing arts which is another reason why expressive arts therapy appealed to me.

The creative forms I studied included the visual arts (primarily painting), sound, movement, clowning, psychodrama, mask making, clay, poetry, and fairytales. Through these various mediums, I was able to at times channel my energy including anger and frustration. (Groups always trigger emotions!)

I learned to express these emotions in a healthy way that is considered acceptable to society, i.e., harmless. Now I know I may be a bit of a rebel at times (not in a bad way per se, more like playing devil’s advocate), but there comes a point when I need to be reasonable and follow the guidelines of acceptability, aka conformity, for a host of reasons. (You’ll understand more when I write about this topic in future. It relates to what I believe my purpose is.)

There are numerous ways to express yourself not limited to the (art) modalities I mentioned above: you can exercise, play sports, vent/shout/swear/scream (sometimes preferably in a pillow or something or else someone may either call 911 and/or think you’re crazy unfortunately), and the like.

But what about before a situation or temper gets out of control? What about curbing anger and frustration in the first place? Any way to express yourself healthily can be a great outlet in letting off steam. Such ways may include playing a musical instrument, singing, meditating, yoga, walking/hiking and the like in nature, and talking things out with someone you love and/or the person(s) you are having challenges with in a respectful manner. Blab if need be instead of blowing up. Get things in control before they become out of control, right?!

And accept yourself just the way you are with both your ‘good’ and ‘bad’ sides. However, focus on the light, your light, and let that light shine, your light shine like the song" "This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine..."

p.s. Photo on the right is courtesy of Ray Van Eng (www.vancouver21.com). The one at the far right with me in it is the only one I seemed to have as I apparently misplaced (deleted?) some beautiful close-up photos that I had taken of the lit Olympic cauldron from above. When I saw it (lit at night) the song, "This Little Light of Mine" came to mind. Something of beauty, of remembering my light came to mind when I saw its majestic beauty and I was in awe of this.

Beauty in the Downtown Eastside

Photos I took in DTES

Since my workplace recently moved to the Downtown Eastside (DTES), I have been contemplating beauty in this part of Vancouver. In as environmentally harsh a place as the DTES that the media exponentially portrays it to be, there are tender moments to be found.

I have experienced such moments, but wanted to observe things of beauty in this neighbourhood. Of finding, or rather seeing (i.e., witnessing) beauty in the midst of this poorest neighbourhood in all of Canada, where drug use and homelessness are rampant. Where intersecting iron or steel bars form some interesting patterns of art while protecting window panes and doors, whether commercial or housing, not to mention its occupants and contents inside.

Despite this, I knew there was a sense of community in the DTES before my work transplanted its roots there. I had witnessed it to a degree. It was events, such as a memorial walk, in the neighbourhood where I observed a strong sense of this.

This walk and its ensuing ceremony were held to commemorate the many DTES women and other women, mostly Aboriginal, who had been missing or found murdered, some along notorious Highway 16 (dubbed “Highway of Tears”), between Prince George and Prince Rupert.

As I write this, I have a recollection of an Expressive Arts Therapy instructor specializing in addictions, who shared some stories of her experiences working with people from the DTES. How they watch out for each other and help one another. You may not think that that would be the case in such an area, but it does happen.

You also may not think that, as I was walking in the area during a lunch break, I might discover an angel - yes you read that right - in my midst. And it is located relatively close to my work. Interestingly enough, I hadn’t noticed it before while walking on the other side of the street. It is as if she is guardian over the area, keeping watch over the community and its residents.

The angel is formed of various materials including some grey, gauzy flowing fabric. She hovers overhead on the side of a building facing an empty lot that is covered in grass. I wasn’t sure of the materials that made this amazing art form, but what struck my curiosity the most was how it got there in the first place! Who put it there and how?!

Never mind the why! I didn’t care much about the reason(s) why she might be there. Although I wonder if it was simply to provide some aesthetic beauty to the area. Perhaps someone who just felt inspired to do so.

Or was it simply meant to inspire others? If so, how? Could it bring even more beauty? A sense of grace or peace, or even hope? To an individual or group of people? To the community?

I was in such a state of awe, that as I was walking away, I kept looking back at her as she faded away in the distance. I suddenly turned around to face the direction I was heading in and almost bumped into a tree! (Silly me.) Though just as I turned my head, I saw a man gazing in the direction where I had just looked and then he noticed her too.

He immediately made the sign of the cross in front of his body as Christians do. His gesture in juxtaposition with the angel was a symbol or sign of beauty. This rare and precious moment felt like a gift, a treasure to behold.

At such times, a camera or videotape would be incredibly handy to record such instances. But though these touching experiences are so profound on an emotional and spiritual level that is challenging to articulate, they are also personal and intimate. I imagine it would feel extremely intrusive if I had captured this on film (if I could even do so in the first place!).

Instead, I believe my mind’s eye will remember this image as I witnessed what seemed a sense of grace, both in the physical form of the angel and of the signing of the cross.

I wonder: What else can this and other pieces of art (or moments of beauty) inspire? Especially in the DTES where it seems like it's needed the most, but also in our homes, our workplaces, our communities ... overall in our everyday lives.

How can we ensure that we see beauty? Can we see it even in the midst of chaos? Or if it is barely visible? Does it really matter? And if so, why?

Just some questions to ponder though I'm certainly open to your comments and feedback.

Till my next blog, ‘see’ you then! ; )