Reactions to Oxford Trafficking and Rape

On Tuesday March 3rd, two blog posts ago, I wrote about my response to this sad and shocking piece of news - "Reactions to Delhi Bus Rapist Interview" (http://xpressyouressence.blogspot.ca/2015/03/reactions-to-delhi-bus-rapist-interview.html).

Of the women who had commented on that post thus far, at least two had been raped - one didn't mention it but she had been gang raped - and at least another two could have been (almost?), myself included as an attempted date rape.

I re-read that post today at the library, before writing this one, shedding copious tears. My heart is still in grief about that very incident. My heart still bleeds and aches for this particular woman and also for all women worldwide.

(Just an aside here: When I find a piece of artwork I created and a poem I wrote in relation to the paragraph right above this one on the theme and history of violence against women, I will post it. Either one or two blog posts will ensue, in part of a more personal nature and I think an interesting one. It is in draft form as I am writing three posts today along a similar veined theme. This one may be entitled, "You've Come a Long Way, Baby" so stay tuned and watch out for it.)

The same day I posted that very sensitive and vulnerable post referred to above, another headline shrieked witness to other similar horrific events, this time in the United Kingdom (http://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/police-ashamed-after-girls-raped-for-years/ar-BBiaUI3?ocid=mailsignoutmd).

According to Sky news (see link above),

"Six vulnerable girls continued to be raped and abused for five years because authorities failed to take them seriously and bring a paedophile ring to justice ... Between 2005-10 the vulnerable girls were reported missing 500 times - half of those when they were in council care - but it did not raise alarm bells with authorities ... The report reveals 373 girls have now been identified as possible victims of sexual exploitation within the last 16 years in the county ... In May 2013, seven men were convicted of 43 offences including trafficking and rape ... Their trial detailed how they 'actively targeted' girls from the ages of 11 and 12, the majority of whom had been sent to live in care homes ... The girls were plied with alcohol, introduced to drugs, then sold for sex in guest houses, private houses and hotels, and abused by multiple men, some of whom had travelled to Oxford from 'far afield' ... The humiliation and degradation involved knives, meat cleavers and baseball bats. The girls' ordeals sometimes lasted days ... Since the trial, Thames Valley Police said approximately 700 children in Oxfordshire, Berkshire and Buckinghamshire have been referred to them where there is a suspicion they might be being sexually exploited."

My apologies dear readers. I actually did not intend or wish to blog on this, such a gruesome topic, anymore. However, I think it is important that people worldwide wake up, both men - not all are 'bad' - and women. Trafficking as well as sex slavery of women and girls is prolific worldwide, even in America. Yes, that includes Canada I'm sorry to say; I know this via my work.

Here are some appalling statistics and the like on the issue of trafficking (https://jbmaverick.wordpress.com/2014/09/05/human-trafficking-lets-kill-some-pimps/).

On my previous blog post (http://xpressyouressence.blogspot.ca/2015/03/reactions-to-delhi-bus-rapist-interview.html), I said, "I am not (normally) one for a heinous punishment, but truly in this case I wonder. Would it be best that a man gets castrated for this crime? Death seems an easy way out even if by execution. A quick death. I think pain is more punishing in terms of suffering."

And then I wonder if the following might be just as or more appropo to the perpetrators - see Part 2 of The Burning Times" at the 4:25 to 4:44 time mark and you will understand; even better, back up to the 4:00 mark! (The full-length video is just under an hour in length, though this video has five parts broken down in approximately 10-minute segments.)



And as I said on that same said post,

"On the other hand, I'm not God and I imagine the men involved will suffer the consequences karmically.)

Rather than asking you to take sides of my severe punishment - definitely not! - I would instead at this time like to ask you a question: What can WE individually and as a society do to STOP rape and other heinous crimes against females? Pray tell me. Tell us ... those others who read and comment.

And men don't get me wrong. I know there are a lot of good men out there as well. I am referring to this particular type of crime, though I have written about others in a couple of previous posts. (Just do a word search on my blog.)"

On a lighter note in preview of tomorrow being International Women's Day, read my last year's post on Women's Day which was on the theme of the Olympics, in particular the Canadian women's hockey team (http://xpressyouressence.blogspot.ca/2014/03/tribute-to-women-happy-international.html).

Reactions to Delhi Bus Rapist Interview

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This was my immediate reaction to the news article with BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) having made a documentary about this crime against a woman (http://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/delhi-bus-rapist-blames-dead-victim-for-attack-because-girls-are-responsible-for-rape/ar-BBi8EL7?ocid=mailsignoutmd).

My original post had some strong and sensitive languaging disguised as swear words to emphasize the extent of my anger. I did that on purpose for two reasons: (1) because that was my genuine feeling and reaction and (2) I felt that this was such an important and deep cause that it felt like the 'right' thing to do, perhaps in part to elicit corresponding emotions/reactions in others.

I was extremely angry upon hearing this as I am by all injustices whether people, animals, or the environment.

What century do we live in for God's sake?! I can't believe this! This is so appalling and I am SO mad!

When can women roam the streets at night in peace ... really after 9 pm? These excuses are lame ... teach HER a lesson? Are you out of your mind?! Oh I am so bloody mad ... I can't believe this! I not only feel angry, mad, pissed off, but furious!

First of all Mister, girls, women, females do NOT ever ever ever ever - get the point?! - "ask for rape" or rather "ask to be raped." Hell NO! You have got to be kidding me? Are you CRAZY?! (Don't answer that 'cause the answer is so blatantly obvious, at least to me!)

Us girls, women, females are only responsible for ourselves. YOU are responsible for you and your thoughts and actions, and yes, that includes self-restraint!

The woman's murder was "an accident?!" Excuse me?! Pardon me?! Did I read that right?! Oh you only meant to rape her? Not leave her for dead? Holy moley! Again, who are YOU kidding!

Oh pardon me sir (can't even call you that!), I am here to inform you: "Your wife is no longer. It was an accident by some men." How would YOU feel if you were told that? Oh let me guess, you don't have a wife!

And let me guess, you also have a double standard for men and women, or rather men and 'girls' (a form of belittling us females, in my opinion at least) - "A decent girl won't roam around at nine o'clock at night." I bet the men are allowed out at night, but females need to be caged up inside their homes, maybe even locked inside (by the sounds of it)!

"A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy. Boys and girls are not equal" you say? 'Girls' as you probably name all 'women' are NEVER responsible, do you HEAR me?! We don't ask for it and neither do we want it.

And since when are boys and girls not equal? God created us both equally in terms of a social standing. However, I see that you skew this point only because their brains and bodies differ.

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You further state, "Housework and housekeeping is for girls, not roaming in discos and bars at night doing wrong things, wearing wrong clothes." Oh excuse me! Get rid of the archaic (patriarchal?) system that 'rules' women, puts them down, makes them feel inferior, useless, and worthless like ants or fleas!

And what is wrong with dancing and having a good time socializing with friends? Yes, maybe she sweats from dancing in a crowded disco so dresses a bit lighter and cooler.

However, if you are turned on and it bothers you there are always choices and options other than rape. I can think of a few, so why can't you?

"About 20 per cent of girls are good." Really?! Where on earth did you get that information, that statistic from? Are you projecting (what may be the case for men) onto 'girls?'

Being attacked with hands let alone metal bars is inhumane, even for animals God forbid! You should be disgusted and ashamed of yourself!

I saw a pre-movie (a short clip before an actual movie) once that made me cringe and I should have left the theatre. It depicted, rather insinuated the rape of a young (Asian) girl ... just writing those words is horrific. I was shocked and sickened by it.

I could not fathom how anyone can make such a movie. Yet this happens in real life way too often, including India. It is a crime against humanity, children, innocence, and our future.

The Delhi bus driver who didn't participate in the attack had suggested to BBC in an interview - did he or does he feel like a hero being interviewed I wonder - that the rape was a way to teach this young woman "a lesson." Really?! Should YOU be taught a lesson in such an undignified and cruel manner?

And apparently she was supposed to just surrender, NOT "resisting her attackers." What the hell?! Instead, "She should just be silent and allow the rape. Then they'd have dropped her off after doing her and only hit the boy." ... I cannot believe what goes on in your pea-sized brain! You have got to be kidding me?

Furthermore, the driver stated that future rape victims would likely be killed by the execution of him and the others who were convicted of this crime. Are you trying to get off from being killed?

Oh, and to make matters worse, he also declares that "in front of my entire family, I would put petrol on her and set her alight" if his sister or daughter - oh he is married?! - "disgraced herself" if seen with a man. I am so appalled, I can't believe your thinking! Let me guess, men can get away with murder though if the roles were reversed ... and please don't say anything. I KNOW the answer!

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The defence lawyer further adds fuel to the fire by saying, "In our society, we never allow our girls to come out from the house after 6.30 or 7.30 or 8.30 in the evening with any unknown person." Why? Because you are caring and protective of them? Or are your motives more controlling in nature?

He continues, "You are talking about man and woman as friends. Sorry, that doesn't have any place in our society. We have the best culture. In our culture, there is no place for a woman."

WHAT?! Men and women cannot be friends?! Whoa! The "best culture"? I do NOT think so, not after those statements! And "no place for a woman?" WHAT??????!!!! You have got to be joking! You wouldn't be around if it wasn't for a woman, and ... well, use your imagination to fill in the blank!

OMG, I think I'm going to faint. I can't believe you said (all) that! Am I to kill myself because I am a woman? 'Cause I'm not meant to be here, to live? Oh, let me guess, you'd rather do it to me or for me, kill me off that is. You have no use of me. Oh, but then who is going to do the housework?

The mother of her dead daughter states, "Whenever there's a crime, the girl is blamed, ‘She should not go out. She shouldn't roam around so late or wear such clothes.' It's the boys who should be accused and asked why they do this."

Yep, she's right. The boys are the ones who attack(ed). They should be the ones in question, NOT the "girl!" However, I disagree with questioning men as to why: there will only be rationalizations and justifications. There is NEVER any reason to commit such a crime.

I am not (normally) one for a heinous punishment, but truly in this case I wonder. Would it be best that a man gets castrated for this crime? Death seems an easy way out even if by execution. A quick death. I think pain is more punishing in terms of suffering.

On the other hand, I'm not God and I imagine the men involved will suffer the consequences karmically. (A post to follow next week about this with a totally different slant.)

Rather than asking you to take sides of my severe punishment - definitely not! - I would instead at this time like to ask you a question: What can WE individually and as a society do to STOP rape and other heinous crimes against females? Pray tell me. Tell us ... those others who read and comment.

And men don't get me wrong. I know there are a lot of good men out there as well. I am referring to this particular type of crime, though I have written about others in a couple of previous posts. (Just do a word search on my blog.)

December 6: National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women

Today is the 25th anniversary of the Montreal massacre, the murder of 14 females, most of whom were engineering students at Montreal's university, École Polytechnique: http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Day_of_Remembrance_and_Action_on_Violence_Against_Women.

The gunman, Marc Lépine, ended up committing suicide by shooting himself. Feminism" was his claim to the shooting death of these women and the injury of 10 other women.

Every day all around the world there are incidents of brutality against women committed primarily by men. Violence can include:

1. gender-based violence
2. rape, marital rape, and incest
3. murder and assault including dowry-related violence and honour killings
4. forced marriage
5. female genital mutilation
6. human trafficking including cross-border prostitution rings and bride kidnappings
7. war crimes including rape as a weapon of war

Source: http://www.bwss.org/resources/information-on-abuse/numbers-are-people-too/)

Statistics are astounding and may vary depending on the source; however, here are some from the Canadian Women's Foundation: http://www.canadianwomen.org/facts-about-violence. I'm not sure what they are for Stats Canada.

Some recent close-to-home incidents include allegations of sexual assault against Jian Ghomeshi, former CBC broadcaster and Bill Cosby, American comedian and actor.

There are also sexual harrassment incidents by Members of Parliament, and sexual assault and harrassment by members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and other such positions as with male firefighters against their female counterpart.

Other cases include the female victims of Robert Pickton, serial killer in BC and also aboriginal females who were killed and/or missing along BC's 'Highway of Tears.'

In countries such as India and Pakistan, there are numerous so-called 'honour' killings. According to Wikipedia,

An honor killing or honour killing (see spelling differences) is the homicide of a member of a family or social group by other members, due to the perpetrators' belief that the victim has brought shame or dishonor upon the family or community, usually for reasons such as refusing to enter an arranged marriage, being in a relationship that is disapproved by their relatives, having sex outside marriage, becoming the victim of rape, dressing in ways which are deemed inappropriate, or engaging in homosexual relations. (http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor_killing)

Malala Yousafzai, the 14-year-old Pakistani girl who was shot by the Taliban because she promotes 'western thinking and fights for the rights of girls to go to school.

A woman in various parts of the world can be stoned or beaten even if pregnant for alleged adultery, or have acid thrown on her and then shunned as it is believed she deserved it.

I remember cigarette ads from years ago that claimed "You've come a long way baby" but have we, as women? Yes and no! No when it comes to equality in terms of social status for one. We have a long way to go, yet!

And calling us 'baby' doesn't help matters! That sounds rather deragatory, doesn't it? I, for one, do not find that an affectionate endearment. It sounds too disempowering a term, at least to me...same with 'girl.'

Do women call their husbands or boyfriends, 'boy' as in "hey boy..." or "good boy" or the like? No! That sounds like language used to talk to a dog!

Ok, I'm getting off tangent here though I'm trying to make a point here. You get the drift I'm sure.

White awareness ribbon from symbols.com

The list of violence against women goes on and on and on... You hear or read about such reports on a daily basis unfortunately. The following is an indication of such crimes and worse, and also reports the top five countries reputable for such acts of violence against women: http://www.cbc.ca/strombo/news/malala-yousafzai-said-to-be-improving-in-british-hospital-while-a-young-afg.

When will it STOP?! S-T-O-P! Enough is enough! Enough of this sickening brutality! What can I as an individual, we as individuals - yes, you men too, in particular! - country, society do to end this...once and for all?!

(breathe)...Ok, first of all we need to focus on the opposite of violence..what is that again? Oh yeah, peace! ...

Part 1: Peace in Times of War

Years ago, sometime after the Bosnian war which lasted almost four years, my parents and I visited an area of Croatia (part of the former Bosnia and Herzegovina region. And, if I understand correctly, now known as Serbia.)

This country known for its mild Mediterranean weather was too hot and dry for me. The somewhat barren landscape, sparsely populated with vegetation (grasses) matched the desolate buildings of which there were many, at least what remained of them.

Remnants of (what I presume were residential) brick buildings with shattered windows dotted the road and countryside. It was not a pretty sight. (I still have photos that portray the aftereffects of that stark landscape, though I have them just as clearly etched in my mind.)

Was I as shocked and horrified as those buildings were (metaphorically speaking of course)? Were people living there during the bombings/explosions?

There are many civilians who question war, people like you and me. What is the purpose? Do we need it? Is it just an excuse for atrocities such as genocide and rape?

I have come to see and understand that what we experience as (so-called) reality is actually a reflection of our being. That is, what we think and feel is projected outside of us. Thus, the outer world, our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. This is experienced both individually and collectively.

If you dislike and/or disagree with these words, I totally understand. I used to! However, I have come to learn that this is indeed the case, whether we like it or not. In fact, I learned (the beginnings of) this phenomenon during a course on counselling skills.

There is a term known in the counselling and psychotherapy field as “transference.” This occurs when a client projects (i.e., transfers) their feelings and desires onto their counsellor or psychotherapist. It occurs at an unconscious level and can display in various ways, whether through feelings of love, fear, hate, or anything in between.

Thus, the state(s) of our being in our thoughts and feelings are important as it is the beginning of the ripple effect. Can you imagine the effect positively or negatively rippling in relation to that of a group of people whether in a family/home, at work, in meetings, in a village, town, city, or country? Use your imagination here or think of instances in your world.

Instead of judging others with eyes – and words – of anger or hate, we can choose to focus our thoughts and speech with compassionate and empathic tones. We can choose peace/love/joy/happiness or conflict/tension/hatred/anger in this moment, and this one, and the next, and so on. Hopefully peace, love, and joy will reign over conflict, tension, hatred, and even war.

It has been declared by an international spiritual teacher and author that peace will reign in our time. It is hard to imagine with all the wars and conflicts we have taking place in our everyday lives. Regardless, why not focus on peace...within ourselves first? Then let the ripples spread out...

Let's start today with Remembrance Day in Canada, and Veterans Day in the States: a moment of silence, of peace, of stillness - one (1) minute on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month.

How can we avoid conflict and tension in the world? How can we cultivate peace and keep it in our hearts and minds? To be continued ...