NaBloPoMo: Make...a Decision!

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Today's NaBloPoMo post is as follows, "Do you make up your mind, or do you think making up our minds is outside our control?"

I admit that I am not the best person when it comes to decision-making. The reason or rather reasons why? -

Firstly, I have the ability to see both sides of a situation. I was born a middle child and I believe that role has allowed me the advantage of not only seeing, but also understanding a situation.

When my parents argued for instance, sometimes about me, my Dad would defend me and my Mom would tell my father that he was wrong. I knew my mother was right, though I think she thought I was on my father's side. However, I could see that they were both right in their own way.

I've had this perspective all my life and though at times it can serve me well, other times it seems like a stumbling block.

Secondly, I am the type of person who prefers to take advantage of opportunities that come my way. This can make decision-making easy if it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I am faced with. If so, that is the decision I usually go for.

Thirdly, I am also prone to wanting to do everything! I have varied interests and I love to learn, so sometimes this may prove to be challenging when it comes to decisions. When faced with a choice, it can be challenging to choose as I want the outcome of both decisions!

Sometimes I make a list of pros and cons. Seeing and weighing my options helps to facilitate the process.

I believe we can make (up) our own minds. It is just a matter of choosing! Left OR right? Not both!

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That reminds me of one of my favourite poems, "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost which I think illustrates the concept of decision-making very well. You are probably already familiar with it.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

How do you face decisions? Do you have any tips for helping you make them?

Part 2: An Unusual Message

In a previous blog posting, I mentioned that a song I wrote and its story were in a book. Well, I received that book in the mail that Friday evening!

The original request for Edwin Coppard’s second book, Wake Up & Sing, came in the form of an email in 2011 where he requested attendees from his retreats to submit their songs and stories. I did on a whim not knowing if he would choose to publish it or not. Thus I was thrilled, ecstatic even, to receive news of this (see ‘An Unusual Message’ blog posting, dated February 8th).

As I mentioned previously, Edwin is a talented musician, in his own right, who facilitates Your-Voice-is-the-Messenger-of-Your-Soul workshops in Tofino on the Pacific Coast (and elsewhere) to have people uncover and discover their natural or authentic voice.

Because of his out-of-the-box-thinking and passion, I felt a strong pull to attend an intro of his and subsequently his retreat: my to-be non-traditional, children’s co-creative choir is an example of out-of-the-box thinking that has become my passion too! (Read more about this in my original blog postings, Call to Action dated July 5th, and Why Me? Why this Choir? dated July 17th, 2010.)

Other reasons, one of them being that I thought I might be interested in his future training – to do what he does – teach others his method of essentially ‘singing from their soul’ also inspired me to attend Edwin’s retreat. And another was simply that I had heard so much about Tofino including Wickaninnish Inn (www.wickinn.com) for example – a former work colleague works there now – which I was curious to experience, albeit without a surf board or wet suit! Though it wasn’t held there – too bad! – I was able to get a tour of some the empty rooms as it was non-peak season.
My story as published verbatim by me in Edwin’s latest book, Wake Up & Sing explains the backdrop to my inspired song:

“I felt compelled to go to Tofino for the first time and attend Edwin Coppard’s workshop ‘Your Voice is the Messenger of Your Soul’. I was quite nervous as I usually get shy about singing in public. However, my dream is to facilitate a non-traditional children’s/youth choir. Thus I attended Edwin’s workshop.

After a couple of exercises, I felt very frustrated and at one point, very angry. Angry that I wasn’t getting it, i.e., the exercise. It seemed like everyone did and I didn’t. I think it basically was writing words to a song. The words just didn’t seem to flow as seems too often happen when I try to ‘force’ words onto a page, or so it seems.

As I didn’t come up with a song, I left the room and went to walk along the beach. I was ready to literally self-baptize myself in a sense, clearing and cleansing myself of my anger by stepping right into the ocean. If I had a towel and a change of clothes with me, I would have walked right into the ocean, despite the coldness. I was that angry and determined, at the time! It was while I was standing facing the ocean, that the words came to me:

Love is like the ocean
Love is like the ocean
Its w-a-a-a-aves keep a rolling

Love is like a forest
Love is like a forest
It i-i-i-is protective

Love is like a mountain
Love is like a mountain
So hi-i-i-igh

Love is in the air
Love is in the air
It i-i-i-is everywhere

I really FELT and experienced that song deep within me. I truly resonated with it and connected with it deeply. It helped me to dissolve the anger that I felt within me. I came to leaving a lot calmer and more peaceful within myself than when I arrived.” (pp. 162-163, Wake Up & Sing)

It was with trepidation, of course, that I entered my song in an emotional, raw, visceral state. Though I didn’t sing the third verse ending in higher notes (as per the video below), I don’t think I could have sang at all without the support of Edwin and the group. It was they, plus the environment (and atmosphere, i.e., feeling) of Tofino that attributed to a safe and sacred space in which to sing.

I deeply admire and appreciate Edwin’s creative spontaneity concerning his thinking and music, playing with sounds and songs. Like Edwin, I too feel like I have travelled – and am still travelling – the road less travelled, which, like the poem The Road Not Taken (by Robert Frost) – one of my favourites – mirrors my life for the most part. My to-be children’s choir is part of that journey, my journey...