Wordy Wednesday: What is it that I really want to say?

The title is the writing prompt and is the challenge for today's writing for anyone who chooses it, namely, "What is it that I really want to say?"

Sometimes a challenge is, well, a challenge! And why not challenge myself and perhaps learn and/or grow in the process, if not a foot, maybe an inch? ;) So here goes...

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"So, what is it that I really want to say?" This thought ran through Emily's mind as she pondered what occurred to her between her birthday and a couple days prior. The scenario played over in her mind as she churned this question.

Two days before a momentous birthday, Emily went to see a counsellor for free as part of a work benefit. She had had the feeling a few months prior that she wanted, perhaps even needed to see one who specialized in the area of family of origin (or FOO for short) in order to deal with negative issues or patterns in her life.

She knew intuitively that the root causes of some of them such as an addiction to food stemmed from childhood or FOO, and she was curious in wanting to explore that and get to the root causes in order to change what was not working or no longer working for her.

Though her counsellor was a stranger - initial session - Emily felt comfortable enough with her and unloaded her thoughts and feelings, dumping them unceremoniously to or rather, towards the walls, the floor, the door, and occasionally at Mary, her counsellor.

Mary was an older woman which initially surprised Emily, but then came to the quick realization that that would be highly beneficial in giving her more experience and expertise to deal with Emily's problems or issues.

It was as Emily was talking about her twin sister, actually dead twin sister along with things that happened in her - Emily - life, that a thought triggered like a spontaneous flash in her brain. She came to the utter realization of something, something important she felt she needed to do, to share.

And two days later on Emily's birthday, as she was participating in an online healing discussion, this thought struck her again out-of-the-blue. Emily knew that when that happens, 'Spirit' or intuition was beckoning her.

In fact, later in the evening when Emily was conversing with her mother about details of her birth, her twin, and the like, the same idea stuck in the background amidst questions and responses.

It was the first time that Emily had even considered her mother's viewpoint in giving birth to her and her twin, and the aftermath of what happened, some of which wasn't shared verbally then, but implied.

And thus a formulation spun cycles in Emily's brain in speaking with a work colleague about writing and blogging, two days later.

Emily discovered then: she was pregnant! Oh my! How could that be? She was 55 after all!

Though most pregnancies are usually nine months, Emily wasn't sure how long hers would be. She hoped it wouldn't be much longer; however, one really never knew. She was to give birth, one that she knew she had inside of her, one that she was told by at least one if not more than one person.

And it wasn't the inspired children's story she had in mind written after a group of young children she had designed a program for. No, no! This was different. And it could be a long, labor-intensive birth, though who was to know for sure... ;)

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Epilogue: If you haven't figured it out yet, this woman is actually the author of this blog, namely me, and it is a true story, albeit a tad 'fictionalized.' That is what this blogger wants to say, yet doesn't quite know how to say it directly as there are ramifications with that, including the possibility of saying goodbye to her supportive loving community of online friends, though not yet!

An important note or aside as congratulations are not in order, not just yet, not until after the birth. That is really important which will be shared at a later time, sooner rather than later(?).

She isn't sure how her already busy lifestyle, currently working full-time, singing in two choirs (first time), seeing a counsellor, attending occasional meetings and community events here and there, visiting with friends occasionally, and life in between will justify writing a book based on her life's story or stories... ;)

This post is written as a sentence prompt for Wordy Wednesday at the "BAR" (Blog-A-Rhythm). ;)