One time I threw back some mixed nuts – don’t ever try that! – and one of them, probably an almond, got stuck at the back of my throat, waaay down. I couldn’t do anything at first and was aware that I couldn’t breathe, at least through my mouth.
I think part of me (the inner me) was quite scared (that I could die), yet another part (my outer me) was surprisingly calm – that I actually don’t remember how it became unstuck, but I’m grateful it did. I think I leant forward and tapped my back or tried coughing; I believe I may have blocked the fearful memory.
Wow! Close call! Within the same week, I almost got run over by a vehicle passing in the dark near my home. Whew! Another close call!
What’s happening? What’s all this about? Red Alert! Need to pay more attention. Focus on the here and now. Ground self. Breathe. And breathe deep! This is what was going through my mind after the fact.
I’ve had this sense lately (since about January) that a lot of people (I know) are going to die this year. I don’t like that thought nor do I like the resulting feeling and certainly hope that I’m wrong.
Although I don’t wish to dwell on this of course, I already know of about four deaths so far this year (within less than two months) upon this incident in mid-February: a friend and former roommate’s mother passing, a work colleague’s brother dying, another work colleague’s father dying, a former tenant (of the place I lived in before) found dead in a park recently.
That’s way too many when I consider I’ve only attended maybe two funerals in my life, thus far. I prefer it that way, nice and easy, and slow!
Though I’ve been close to death several times myself, I’m definitely not ready to go yet. After all, not only do I have to tidy up my home beforehand, I have a mission to accomplish! ; )
Have you ever been close to death? If so, what saved you and/or what keeps you alive?
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