A Tribute to David: Connection with a Stranger

I’ve had a lot going on in my life to deal since about end August when one of my two roommates moved out (as she was getting married.) Needless to say, there have been some miraculous moments and wonderful connections as well.

For instance, there was a native man who introduced himself to me - at the end of our conversation on the skytrain - as my favourite male name, David (which means Beloved).

He spontaneously asked me if I had children. And then proceeded to tell me to never have them be drug addicts. We started conversing and I felt such compassion for this man that my troubles though seemingly daunting, in those few minutes seemed so small.

I didn’t share my problems with him as I normally would have in past. I held my tongue for it didn’t seem the time or the matter. It seemed to be important that he speak and share his pain with me.

I saw it in his face as he tightened his jaw and clenched his teeth. I felt compelled to tell him not to grind his teeth.

It looked like he was close to tears but instead he clenched his jaw. David said, "I put on a happy face but sometimes I break down, usually when I’m alone." I told him that it is okay to be sad and cry, no matter who’s around you, we’re human. And I went on to say that I cry in public. It’s better to express it than hold it in. Then a few small tears came to both my eyes.

He was concerned that he pained me in some way. I reassured him that he didn’t, though may have picked up some of his energy of pain. I think I was so moved by his sharing that I was deeply touched. Perhaps it was because this stranger revealed to me what may be considered a deep, dark, dirty secret, an intimate confidence to some.

It may also be knowing that "we all have problems" as he said, "suffer" as I would say, "we all have our crosses to bear" as my mom would say. And that with support and love and friendship that we can get through.

Though I offered to give him a number that he could call for help, I think I would have liked to have given him a hug. I wish now that perhaps I would have asked him. As I’m typing this, big tears – this time – are rolling down my cheeks. I think I’ll say a prayer instead for him and his child (son, daughter I do not know).

The skytrain stopped, seemed stuck for some time, a few minutes, and I think we both felt something from our brief exchange. It felt like a short cleansing of some sort at least for me and maybe for him, speaking our truth, sharing our pain, showing our true selves.

He departed stating something along the lines of our next potential meeting, that we could greet each other as a friend by name. Indeed, it feels like that. That I have made a new ‘friend’, an acquaintance with someone I can now greet by name in a sea of faces.

I realized again to be grateful for what I already have. There are always people with problems seemingly worse or better than our own. However, I’m sure I wouldn’t want to exchange my problems with someone else’s. I’m grateful for this chance encounter, this meeting with a stranger, now an acquaintance.